The other day, I realised this year would probably be the year I travelled the most. Already went on two trips to date, and have another two more scheduled. 3rd trip in June, 4th one in July. Contemplating the 5th one. Aurora in Sept is seriously tempting. So is spending 3 weeks in Norway. Have always wanted to go somewhere special in Sept to spend my special day. Christmas Market in Dec sounds really good too. I'm just not sure if I can make it there in December.
Trip planning is tiring and tedious, I realised how much I disliked it. I used to love planning... Until the last trip to Arctic. The planning was so tedious, I got so tired of travelling, of planning that I only travelled once in 2014 and did not really crave more.
Somehow, wanderlust got me again starting this year. The idea of living from place to place, and then taking my time to slowly explore the city and see how the locals live, really appealed to me.
However, thats for later. Right now, I guess I can only travel when I can afford the time to. And trying to get my photos processed and uploaded as soon as possible. My 2012 Japan trip album is still in progress as of now :/ Luckily I did not take much photos for my 2014 and 2015 trips so far. With minimal processing, they might just get done soon. Soon.. meaning this year... I hope :x
Finally back to my exercise routine. Weights and core twice a week. Yoga once a week. Still trying to fit in swimming. Haven't had time to schedule in my yearly healthscreen. Guess I should have just gone ahead and booked myself an appointment In April when I wanted to. After dragging for so long, it now simply feels like such a hassle to go.
The past few days, I've been slacking since I did not have to work. Other than processing my photos, that is.
On some level, snuggling in bed, watching tv shows / movies that I've watched previously, seemed a very acceptable way to spend my hours.
Maybe its old age, or maybe I'm just too tired to explore new things. Since I already watched them, and loved them, I know it will be enjoyable. Why risk the familar for something u are not sure u will enjoy? This explains why Im re-watching shows I've already watched, when I have tonnes of new shows waiting for me to watch :x
I guess there is a time to try new things, and also a time to just enjoy what u do love in life, even if its something u've done / seen / eaten/ etc before.
Been pondering my life choices. There will always be the choices u know is definitely right, the choices you know is definitely wrong, and the ones that are debatable. If only there is a way to know where your choices will ultimately lead u to. If it will all be worth it in the end.
I wished I could make choices that I never have to question. If only life is that simple.
Perhaps I'm not even sure what I really want out of life. Or maybe what I want now, is not what I will want 2yrs later. 5yrs later. 10yrs later.
Perhaps I should really have a plan B. Maybe even plan C and Plan D.
Or maybe I should just take off and wing it.
3 weeks in Norway is looking really good. 3 months, even better ;)
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Friday, May 8, 2015
8th May 2015 Friday
Sick for a few days, finally well enough to go out yesterday and enjoy myself.
Had a wonderful one hour yoga session today. First yoga session in over a year. My last yoga class was in Jan 2014. A peaceful, and zen one hour. No messy thoughts. Just breathe in and out... Leave your thoughts outside the room... Just focus on breathing.. Be present..
I gotta get me more of that :D
I thk my sore throat's not too bad now, but my stupid stomach is acting weird. Oh boy, one after the other. But no worries, I'm really hard to kill ;)
If I could drag myself to the doctor after more than 12hrs of pain and diarrhea from food poisoning, I can probably live through most things. A few yrs back, I thk it was Dec 2012. I had terrible stomach pain when I was about to go to bed one nite. Thoughout the nite, I was constantly in pain, and having diarrhea. Couldn't sleep. Thought about calling an ambulance. I made it till morning, fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I was severely dehydrated and at the point of collapsing.. But strangely, no one living in the same house knew. Managed to drag myself to the doctor and got a jab.
Most important take away from lying in bed, sick and miserable a few days ago : "At the end of the day, you only have yourself to fall back on, so it is exceedingly important to be able to handle things on your own."
I could never agreed that family is the most important part of your life and they will always be there for you. Likewise for all other relationships. I believe that for any relationships, kinship or otherwise, you should not automatically assume they will be there for you in your time of needs. Actions will speak louder than anything.
I never relied on my family. Maybe becos it was never an option.
My independence came from my upbringing. Not that I was given a choice really. If you want money, work for it. This is something imprinted in my mind even when I was little. Back in Primary sch, if I wanted money for toys or titbits, I would walk half an hour to school with my heavy school bag to save 25cents. Walk to and fro, save 50cents every school day.
Many years ago, when I was in secondary school, there was once I was sick at home for 4days. Ya, I was damn stubborn, trying to let a fever go away on its own without taking panadol. I really really hated taking tablets. Its really disgusting -.- And I admit, I was stupid.
Anyway, feverish and not much of an appetite for 4 days.. On the 4th day, I felt well enough to go out to get some lunch. I walked 5min to the coffeeshop to get food. Ended up, I fainted right in the middle of the road on the way back. Apparently, I had once again over-estimated how much I can take. Thankfully, there wasnt any vehicles at that time, and ppl in the coffeeshop saw me fainted and rush over to help me over to the police post right across the road. Think I must have scared the old lady who was trying to cross the road beside me half to death. >_<
Ambulance came, I fainted becos of low blood sugar. Asked if I wanted to be sent to the hospital to be put on drip. I declined. The first tot that came to mind was, who the heck was gonna pay for that.. Would probably get a scolding from my mum if she had to pay for that.
Perhaps the saddest thing was, there wasnt anyone home, and back then, none of my family was contactable. I ended up sitting in the police post, with my lunch. No idea how long rested there. The police let me go home with the promise to call back to them when I reach home safely. Come to thk of it, how come the police did not send me home?! I live just one block away -.-
Anyway.. after that incident, my mum got herself a cellphone so she can be contacted should anything happen. I can't say she don't care for me. Just that I no longer feel that I can rely on her.
Trusting someone to be there for you, is risky business until they earned it. With expectations, invariably comes disappointment. Perhaps its better to simply take a risk adverse approach, and stop expecting.
Afterall, I have always been the only one that's always been there for me. Who else better to rely on than myself? ;) Not a pessimist, just a realist. Realists are happier ;)
Not that Im not grateful for people who have been there for me in my time of need. Im truly grateful for those who were there for me at one point or another. They have proven to me that some people can still be relied on. Just not everyone can be.
Ultimately, I thk that most of the time, even though we probably could handle everything by ourselves, we just wished that someone would cared enough to want be there.
Had a wonderful one hour yoga session today. First yoga session in over a year. My last yoga class was in Jan 2014. A peaceful, and zen one hour. No messy thoughts. Just breathe in and out... Leave your thoughts outside the room... Just focus on breathing.. Be present..
I gotta get me more of that :D
I thk my sore throat's not too bad now, but my stupid stomach is acting weird. Oh boy, one after the other. But no worries, I'm really hard to kill ;)
If I could drag myself to the doctor after more than 12hrs of pain and diarrhea from food poisoning, I can probably live through most things. A few yrs back, I thk it was Dec 2012. I had terrible stomach pain when I was about to go to bed one nite. Thoughout the nite, I was constantly in pain, and having diarrhea. Couldn't sleep. Thought about calling an ambulance. I made it till morning, fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I was severely dehydrated and at the point of collapsing.. But strangely, no one living in the same house knew. Managed to drag myself to the doctor and got a jab.
Most important take away from lying in bed, sick and miserable a few days ago : "At the end of the day, you only have yourself to fall back on, so it is exceedingly important to be able to handle things on your own."
I could never agreed that family is the most important part of your life and they will always be there for you. Likewise for all other relationships. I believe that for any relationships, kinship or otherwise, you should not automatically assume they will be there for you in your time of needs. Actions will speak louder than anything.
I never relied on my family. Maybe becos it was never an option.
My independence came from my upbringing. Not that I was given a choice really. If you want money, work for it. This is something imprinted in my mind even when I was little. Back in Primary sch, if I wanted money for toys or titbits, I would walk half an hour to school with my heavy school bag to save 25cents. Walk to and fro, save 50cents every school day.
Many years ago, when I was in secondary school, there was once I was sick at home for 4days. Ya, I was damn stubborn, trying to let a fever go away on its own without taking panadol. I really really hated taking tablets. Its really disgusting -.- And I admit, I was stupid.
Anyway, feverish and not much of an appetite for 4 days.. On the 4th day, I felt well enough to go out to get some lunch. I walked 5min to the coffeeshop to get food. Ended up, I fainted right in the middle of the road on the way back. Apparently, I had once again over-estimated how much I can take. Thankfully, there wasnt any vehicles at that time, and ppl in the coffeeshop saw me fainted and rush over to help me over to the police post right across the road. Think I must have scared the old lady who was trying to cross the road beside me half to death. >_<
Ambulance came, I fainted becos of low blood sugar. Asked if I wanted to be sent to the hospital to be put on drip. I declined. The first tot that came to mind was, who the heck was gonna pay for that.. Would probably get a scolding from my mum if she had to pay for that.
Perhaps the saddest thing was, there wasnt anyone home, and back then, none of my family was contactable. I ended up sitting in the police post, with my lunch. No idea how long rested there. The police let me go home with the promise to call back to them when I reach home safely. Come to thk of it, how come the police did not send me home?! I live just one block away -.-
Anyway.. after that incident, my mum got herself a cellphone so she can be contacted should anything happen. I can't say she don't care for me. Just that I no longer feel that I can rely on her.
Trusting someone to be there for you, is risky business until they earned it. With expectations, invariably comes disappointment. Perhaps its better to simply take a risk adverse approach, and stop expecting.
Afterall, I have always been the only one that's always been there for me. Who else better to rely on than myself? ;) Not a pessimist, just a realist. Realists are happier ;)
Not that Im not grateful for people who have been there for me in my time of need. Im truly grateful for those who were there for me at one point or another. They have proven to me that some people can still be relied on. Just not everyone can be.
Ultimately, I thk that most of the time, even though we probably could handle everything by ourselves, we just wished that someone would cared enough to want be there.
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